DAMN YOU BRYAN ADAMS

One minute you are on top of the world. You are shouting from the rooftops about how great you are and how you can handle anything thrown at you. How you got this. You will not be defeated! You are a Rock Star! You are confident and sexy and alluring. You are every person's deepest fantasy. You are free and can live life on your terms. And then it happens. You are driving along minding your own business listening to music rocking away. The awesome song you are listening to comes to an end and you hear the faint intro to the next song. The first bars of the piano music is coming through your speakers and before you can react Bryan Adams is telling you to look into his eyes, to search your heart, to search your soul. In that split second your whole world comes crashing down around you and you start bawling. You are paralyzed and cannot switch the song off. You just sit there at a green light crying your eyes out and wondering why you are so hard to love. Asking yourself what went wrong. What did you do that was so bad that he left you? Did you not love him enough? You obviously were not good enough for him. Were you to mean to him? Are you to fat for him? Are you to ugly? If he couldn't love you what makes you think anyone will ever love you? Will you be alone forever? Will you have to depend on your trusty vibrator for any future affection? As Bryan's voice is coming out of the speakers filling the car with his declaration of love to some perfect woman you are still sitting at that green light with a snot bubble coming out of your nose. Crying so hard you cannot see anything in front of you. Then the song starts to fade and you are so grateful! It's over! You can clean yourself up and start driving home. But NO! It is a LIE! As the song fades it then all of a sudden comes back stronger! You start to cry again and wonder if the pain will ever end. Will your heart ever be whole again. Your eyes are stinging from all of the tears. Your body shuttering so hard you can barely catch your breath. How did your life end up like this? How did you end up alone at almost 40 years old? The light has now gone from green to yellow to red and you are still sitting there; grateful no one is behind you because you couldn't drive if you wanted to. You are all alone and you feel like the world is just going to swallow you up and you will disappear forever.

The song fades off into the distance and yet you still sit there convulsing. Who comes to the rescue? Your hero! Your favorite female! Your Rock Star Idol. She can pull you back into fighting form! She has your back! For crying out loud every song she writes is about you isn't it? Like she has some all telling crystal ball that can see into your mind and heart. She pumps you right back up and reminds you that you do have this! You are a Rock Star and he is the tool! She reminds you that you gave your all and that you are not the problem, he is. Her words echoing in the car so loudly you can feel every note through your steering wheel. Your eyes start to clear and you look into the review mirror. Since all you really see is two bright red puffy orbs staring back at you, you blink a few times to make sure they are your eyes. You stare deeply into them. You stare beyond them and into yourself, into your soul and know you will be all right. You know you do not need anyone's love but your own. You know you are beautiful inside and out. You love you and anyone would be lucky to be your partner. You will never truly be alone. You are a strong and powerful woman who will bounce back better then before.

Na na na na na na, na na na na na na
Na na na na na na, na na na na na na

I guess I just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

 

Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight
Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight

 

So, so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So, so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

 

Uh, check my flow, uh

 

The waiter just took my table
And gave to Jessica Simp- (shit!)
I guess I'll go sit with tomboy
At least he'll know how to hit
What if this song's on the radio
Then somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight

 

Na na na na na na na, he's gonna start a fight
Na na na na na na na, we're all gonna get in a fight!

So, so what?

 

You weren't there
You never were
You want it all
But that's not fair
I gave you love
I gave my all
You weren't there
You let me fall

 

So, so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So, so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight